And, that fact is especially relevant with Coach Stoops' "you never know" quote post-Sugar Bowl, which had everyone on edge about his NFL coaching aspirations. This situation was further compounded by the rumor of his interest in the Browns open job and combined with his nearby Youngstown, Ohio roots sent the Sooner Nation into panic-mode.
However, rest assured Sooner Nation. I still have contacts in Cleveland and my sources there tell me the Browns organization is just as dysfunctional as they were when I left in 1996 (well, maybe not so bad as they didn't have a team in 1996!)
The team owner is embroiled in a federal rebate fraud investigation with his "real" company, they have a non-football guy who was run out of Philadelphia in charge of football operations and they can't draft worth a damn! So the distractions there are real and not imagined.
So without further adieu, here is my list of the top 5 things Coach Stoops won't miss about Cleveland.
1. Weather
Ok, I realize Oklahoma is experiencing an unseasonable severe winter chill for this time of the year that is making many very uncomfortable with the record low temperatures.
Welcome to Cleveland Coach Stoops!
This type of weather is exactly what you get on a daily basis with winters in Cleveland.
I know firsthand because I lived in ground-zero: downtown Cleveland.
Cleveland is located at the northern end of Ohio right up against one of the Great Lakes: Lake Erie.
As such, Cleveland is the last city before you get to Canada.
Affectionately, known as the "North Coast," northeastern Ohioans know full-well what that location means: arctic Canadian-winter winds sweep down across Lake Erie and bring almost a daily event onto the streets of downtown Cleveland called "lake-effect snow."
And, Cleveland being a pretty much non-public transportation city, except for inner-city RTA lines and busses, means most Clevelanders travel by private car which results in a lot of walking.
Heavy top coats, hats, gloves and galoshes are standard attire from basically November to early April. Leave home without one of these essential elements at your own risk.
Also, since Ohio is located in the middle of the snow-belt, transportation officials are deftly prepared to maintain and clear area highways and roads.
This means much ice and sand strategically placed on roadways which ends up on your vehicles and creates a mess of your shiny new car not to say the potential rust erosion later that diminishes its life cycle.
Yes folks, Cleveland is cold. Just how cold you might ask?
I attended opening day of the Major League Baseball season in 1991 at venerable Municipal Stadium on April 16, 1991 and it snowed!
I lived on the 19th floor of the Reserve Square building at the eastern edge of downtown at 12th and Superior and just a few blocks from the lake.
Actually, although not built during my first stay, Reserve Square is just a handful of blocks from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
The 19th floor of any building is high enough to give one a spectacular overview of any area.
Here's the view from my 19th floor apartment overlooking Cleveland's Burke Lakefront Airport and beautiful Lake Erie.
See what I mean? Coach Stoops won't miss this view will he?
3. Gretchen Carlson
Ok, I know Gretchen Carlson is no longer in Cleveland.
Actually, Gretchen is from Minnesota and represented that state as the Miss America winner in 1989.
But hey, in the early 90's she was the hottest thing on local television!
No Coach Stoops won't miss Gretchen by not moving to Cleveland but he can still catch her daily on Fox News!
4. Cleveland Crack
No this is not the local "crack-house" located in east Cleveland.
Actually, this is a universal sighting all over the North Coast.
I think a picture says a thousand words but I'll let your imagination do the work for you!
5. Oklahoma Is OK!
And finally, Coach Stoops won't miss being constantly asked where in the hell Oklahoma is located?
For many Ohioans, Oklahoma might as well be located in Timbuktu!
Most Clevelanders and many Ohioans have lived in the Buckeye state all of their lives.
And that is not a bad thing as the area and state have much to offer.
However, most don't know and don't care where Oklahoma is but do know it isn't in Ohio and they could care less.
So Coach Stoops won't get inundated with the inquisitive minds every time he meets a stranger who asks him: "where?"
Summary
So in the final analysis, I don't think Coach Stoops ever really seriously considered the Browns job or the prospect of moving to Cleveland from Norman.
And, certainly my tongue-in-cheek list doesn't even begin to capture all of the great things association with the North Coast namely:
1. More golf courses per capita than any other location in the U.S. (yes you can play golf in the summer!)
2. Fabulous restaurants.
3. A vibrant, thriving downtown arts district.
4. Breathtaking summer sunsets over Lake Erie.
5. Three really great professional sports brands in the Browns, Indians and Cavaliers all located in the heart of downtown Cleveland featuring some of the most loyal and long-suffering fans in the world.
I hope my personal experience does provide some sort of humor associated with the only American city that I know of where the downtown river and the mayor's hair once caught on fire and a city I was fortunate to once call home twice! (true!)
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